2003 Essay Contest Entry Archive

2003 Essay Contest Entry Archive

Life of a Groomer

I am under 5 feet, over 50 years old, and my bones are getting tired. As the alarm clock sounds each morning, I rollover in bed, stretch out my body and think about the aroma of my first cup of java...and then bang, out of the blue, discretely as whom it may, I jump out of bed suddenly gasping for air, and run to reach an area to overcome the fumes and stench of one of my 3 dogs farting. My poor husband finally catches one as it creeps across the room slowly. Thinking I'm safe now, me, Gucci (Bichon) and Bubba (Pug) head out to pick up one of my groomers at the bus stop who speaks very little English. Driving to my shop and making small chit-chat, I sometimes think, I wonder if she understands me at all. Again, bang, without warning an unwanted scent rises up in the car forcing us to open the windows and hang our heads out. Now I'm thinking, does she think it's me or one of the dogs? The air is stagnant and doesn't move for the rest of the ride. Arthritis in my hands ease up a bit and I'm ready for the day. Oh good, Angel, the little tranquilized Lhasa today, how nice. How many bite marks will I receive today? Only one today, and no tip...have a real nice day as I wave them out of the shop.

Phew, gave the Lhasa a shorter haircut this time hoping to stretch out her unpleasant next visit to the shop. I suppose I should feel privileged, more like cursed to me...that I'm the only one in the shop that can actually groom her. Ok, backup now, she's gone and hereeeeeeeeeeeeee comes a small pet box. Hoping it's a cute female Maltese who is not spoiled rotten, WRONG! I think to myself, it must be Friday the 13th or something, it is a kitty...CAT. After the cat urinates on me, I start talking to myself but this time out loud. No matter how many times you change your clothes, the scent of cat urine never leaves your nose for the rest of the day and how come it seems like they always urinate on me in the mornings. Hmmm, again.

Really looking forward to lunch now. Not! Somehow with many prayers, I get through the day. How, I don't really know. Whoa! Arthritis stiffness starting up again. After hardly any conversation but brief smiles at each other, I drop my groomer back off at the bus stop and head home after a long, long, long day. Funny thing, I always seem to be the last car in the driveway. Hmm, again. Opening the front door hoping for a little bit of silence after a long day, here comes my Pit, Rocky barreling toward me to say hello. Once, Rocky sees me, he starts barking and a chain-reaction suddenly happens with my other dogs. As I try not to step on anyone's toes in all this confusion, I round the corner to my bedroom and without warning, my Cockatoo starts screaming, barking and bopping up and down like a stupid jack rabbit.

To wrap it up, I am exhausted but no rest for the weary yet. Time now to spend with my husband, 4 girls, 3 dogs, 3 cats and 2 parrots. It was a fun day at the shop...but there's no place like home.